why did it happen?

honey

the pain does get better and im so sorry that u are suffering but to grow roses is a great way to remember your cherub
sometimes nature is kinder than we think it is for some reasons our little ones have to leave before becoming full term sometimes it is for medical reasons and others i like to think of as gods garden needed that angel and couldnt do without the smiling face so recalled them home

u are grieving for your loss and thats ok but u need to understand that your partner isnt at the same stage of grief as u so his words arent meant to hurt u in a roundabout way its meant to help u feel better

you are young and u will have heard u can have another which although true is not what u want to hear at this moment in time
see if u can join a face to face group to chat about your loss if not continue to chat here or see grief posts on the subject
take the time to be kind to yourself and like the roses who need care and cherishing know that if u give that attention to yourself u wont be doing so badly u wont forget and will always have moments of wondering what he/she looked like over the years but u can and will move past this stage of emptiness

be kind to u

love D

Thank you for your comment. It is nice to know that there is people out there who cares. I've decided to write my baby a letter. I will post it on here if you would like to read it. I know I am still young. I am very young indeed. But that doesn't change anything. Maybe I am a little bit selfish for not letting go? I am so jealous of everyone who has/going to have a baby. I never knew that losing a baby would hurt this much. I know heaven needed a new angel, but why our angel? I hope you are right about what you said that the feeling of emptiness will get better. Thanks again :)

honey

both my girls had miscarriages and i know they made it through to the other side yes it hurts and we still have tears occasionally but being young is not a bad thing it means your body bounces back quickly and i know u would have given your baby your all when he/she was born but it wasnt meant to be
i would love to read the letter to the little one when u are ready to write it and i know its hard to accept that heaven needed your baby more than u but great things are meant to happen and your baby could be the forerunner for those events no matter what he/she can see mummy and daddy and be proud of how u are handling yourselves in this hard time your cherub will be watching u from now and forever a special angel just to keep u safe

take care of yourself and do write the letter or just chat if thats what u need to do

be kind to u today

love D

Here's the letter I wrote: "my sweetest angel, I still can't believe you are gone. I'd give anything to hold you in my arms only for a moment. I promised that I would protect you until the day I die but I failed to do that. I am so sorry my darling. I know that you are happy where you are now. You are in a place where tears and pain doesn't exist. I try not to miss you but the harder I try the more I do. I loved you from the very start. Maybe I should have tried harder? I know that you were far too beautiful for this world but did you really have to leave so soon?I feel so alone I never had the chance to hold you in my arms, I will never get the chance to watch you grow up and share my dreams with you. I don't think that anyone can understand how I feel. It is impossible to describe my love for you. I think your dad is getting annoyed with me mourning you so much. He doesn't understand how much I loved you and how much I still do. You were a part of me. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but this is killing me. I know he loved you very much too and I know that he is also mourning. But he will never understand a mother's love. You were the sweetest hello and the hardest goodbye. I often think that this is all just a bad dream and that I would wake up soon and you would still be here. I wish this pain wasn't so real. Those few weeks was enough for you to climb deep into my heart. You should know that your father and I would never stop loving you. You will always be our first baby. I know that you are in heaven watching over us but sweetheart? Please keep an extra eye on your dad? Make sure he is safe? I love him so much. And I know you do to. Make him sleep well at night and fill his heart with happiness? I love you and you will be sorely missed" hope you got it now I love you" well my partner found the letter and he got angry "seems to me that you are nothing without the baby. Clearly I have no impact in your life. It happened so just get the hell over it.". Sigh I really don't know what to do anymore

honey

that letter was beautiful your angel would be so proud to know u gave her your heart and soul and she is watching u a special guardian for the times ahead but now its time to give her daddy some attention
im not suggesting that u forget or ignore the past but try and reach out daily to find one little thing that is good and hold on to it
its hard for him his job is to protect and provide and he could do neither so give him pleanty of love u will both grow to get past this and in time u will smile but for now find a little thing to hold onto the love u feel for your partner the sorrow u have both shared and are still dealing with but most of all

be kind to yourself and know that heaven has one special angel sent by u to offer comfort and joy to others

love D

I have to tell you that your letter brought tears to my eyes. I understand how you feel. There's times i ask myself if i didn't do enough or if there's anything i did wrong that my baby died :( i miss him so much and i feel like if its all a bad dream but its not & its killing me. I wish i would of been able to hold my baby in my arms. Thanks for sharing your letter with us. I hope you feel better soon :)