Becoming whole again?

I am so sorry as I know how completely devestating this can be. It feels so terribly unfair, like you won the lottery just to have it all taken away. As it has only been a week and a half, you need to give yourself time to heal emotionally, therapy is a totally acceptable and encouraged route to take, this does not make you weak, in fact it shows your tenacity to get well.

It must be very challenging prospect to go back to your job as a teacher, but eventually you just have to be as pragmatic as possible, this is your job, your students need you and you always have after school to cry your eyes out. After my miscarriage it seemed everyone around me was pregnant, when a friend opened her mouth they all said the same thing, "I'm expecting!" I wanted to scream. I got to the point though that I said to myself, enough, it is time to move on and when I am cleared medically we will try again. Due to medical reasons I had to wait a full year to try and get pregnant and it was so hard, but we did get pregnant again and you bet I breathed a huge sigh of relief after making it past the first trimester.

Move on by living your life, you are allowed to be sad, but letting this destroy your soul does nobody any good. Talk to your husband and doctor about trying again and let this be your "something to look forward to."

Please message me if you want to talk further.

Hugs-
CK

Hi myangel,

I know exactly how you feel. A month and a half ago I also lost my baby..my first baby.. at 9 1/2 weeks pregnant. It was devastating for both my husband and I. It was our first baby together. I really had no urge to go back to work, did not feel the same drive at work and just felt distracted all day. Things did improve as I tried to make myself get back to everyday life. I still get sad from time to time and I let myself greive. But every day it does get a little better. All I can tell you is try to be strong and have faith that things will happen again and the outcome will be better. For now try and do things that make you happy. Just know that you are not alone and that you can always come here for support. I wish you the best in getting through this tough time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Michelle

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words. It has been a rough couple of weeks. My husband seems to think I'm doing better, but I feel this cloud of sadness that hangs over me. I still come home every day and cry. I don't really want to go out with my friends (who have been super supportive) or even talk to anyone, except my husband. I feel like I'm bringing him down with me. I am usually a really outgoing, fun person and I feel like this experience has drained all of that out of me. I just want to be prego again so this feeling of failure and sadness goes away. I am back to work and it seems to get my mind off of it for the day. I guess more time is in needed, but how do I know if I should talk to someone? How do I know if my emotions have become irrational?
Thanks again

It's great that you are able to talk to your husband and your friends are supportive as well. I'm guessing that none of them have been through something like this if you feel as though you still need to talk to someone else. If you do feel as though you need to talk to someone there are lots of support groups where you can actually meet with a group of people who have been in a similar situation. If you go online and search in your area I'm sure you will find something. Or if you need to talk one on one I'm sure you can find someone as well in your area who can help. Things will get better though. You will always have a bad memory of this time in your life and nothing can really change that. It's just more of a problem if you can't make it through day to day life. I did not feel in the mood to go out with friends or even start drinking again after I went through it. But you just need time to heal. If you feel like you need that person to talk to though don't be afraid to find a group or someone to talk to. I wish you the best and I hope that things get better.

God bless

Hi My Angel,
I know how you feel. I just lost our baby boy at 20 weeks pregnant last Monday. Just one week from today. I went in for the super exciting 20 week ultrasound only to be told he at no heartbeat. I'm so completely devastated. It's okay to cry. I cry all the time.
I don't work. My husband is in the military. He got to come home the day after from his deployment but has to return in two weeks. All seems so unfair. I do have a two year old son that I am clinging to. But everytime he asks me about the "baby" I lose it. I'm SO ANGRY.
Hang in there. I'm doing the same. You are not alone.
Kris